Pain

all of a sudden, knowing about too many things wasn't as well as i expected. it brought some unexpected hurt.

it shldn't be hurting, yet it aches and feels like it's falling into pieces.

i hate this man.

):

Fear

the fear of being alone. damn. almost all my frenz in pjc are running of to army man. meaning i'll 1 grp less of frenz to hang out with. crap.

good frenz old frenz best frenz nice frenz lousy frenz spoilt frenz crazy frenz not-so-fren frenz frenz that simply dun really care abt you frenz that really do frenz that love u around frenz that treat ur existence like nothing frenz that understand frenz that don't frenz that thinks your insignificant frenz that are weird frenz that are around when u need them frenz that simply disappear when u need them and many more frenz.

friends are friends no matter how they look sound taste feel smell like, cherish them, do not treat them like their your servants or your underlings, simply treat them good eventually all the things above will simply just become friends. simple and nice. friends.

I'm getting old and sentimental.

crap.

this sucks.

read my blog yeah....

=)

Missing

work is a extremely irritating thing that everyone wants to get rid off but cannot do without. i hate work. but i need the money. this sucks.

working also means missing out on alot of stuff. time with friends, family, loved ones, my bed, my com, my games and most impt of all, my soccer.

sucks, it simply sucks.

but i need the cash man, not cause i'm gonna spend it on something impt, but simply cause i wanna feel my acc up to at least 5000 by the end of this yr, and this period is the best time to do it. missing out on a lot of things seriously.

SORRY GUYS, HOPE U GUYS MISSED ME!

lol. i guess that's all. won't be online much, anything txt or call me, i'm always available.

MUST keep me in the thick of things, i don't like being ignorant simply cos i was working. sianzzzz.

wish i had more brainpower.

=)

Birthday

WOOO I'M 19!!!

lol. dunno wad i'm so happy abt. lol. i'm gettin very old. dieeeee.

THANKS PPL!

hahaha. u know who u are. lol.

now. time to take stock of the present i got this birthday, haha.

-big cake(MOT5)
-candy machine(BIFEN)
-SCOOBY DOO BOXERS(OG PPL)
p.s. it's got red hearts and a big scooby doo face on it....
-MUG AND NAIL POLISH(JOY)
p.s. i had to wear the purple nail polish for the whole day. lol.


quite a good haul i'd say. coz i've nv actually received gifts on my birthday. ppl tend to juz gimme a treat, lol. so it's kinda nice to actually have stuff to rmb ur birthday by. lol.

:D

Peace

hmmm. january 21st now. omfg! 2008's jan is coming to a close. that's fast. so's sch. i think today's the 1st day of the last wk of sch. and i haven't finish my mol! damn it. lot's of backlog. lol.

hmmm.. everything sorta settled down. i guess i didn't make a wrong decision this time. what a rare moment.

i'm gonna focus more i guess. that's what i seem to say all the time. this is like the no. 123456780987642356789o78io067 time i've said it. lol. i dunno why there's alphabet mixed in. dun ask me. lol. the past wk has been. stressful. IAC NA COMPRO proj all cleared! wooooo! feeling liberated. pretty good feeling. and i've resume my gym/run regime. 10km by the end of friday. remind me to run if u see this post. lol.

oh. i watched le grand chef ytd. this particular line touched me.

'when bracken rain falls, it's time to say goodbye'

well, the following are spoilers. dun read if u intend to watch the movie. that particular line was actually part of a song, which is to mean when rain falls in the shape of bracken leaves, fisherman out at sea will not return. and the scene in which the old man sang it was actually very emotional.
i haven't been touch by a movie for a long time, the last time was when i watched world trade centre i think. can't be very sure. dun think i cried but certainly made me appreciate life more. i'm a pessimist, that was established quite a while back, for a movie to make me appreciate what i have is very rare.

pretty nice wk in general.

:)

Ugly

once again. i'm a disappointment to others. how long is it gonna last? my whole life? i hope not, being a disappointment is not nice. i hate it man.

dieeee. emo again? nope i dun emo. i think abt stuff. probably will be a quiet day tmr. very quiet i hope. things got outta hand. which could have easily been prevented. i guess we'll nv be the same again. somehow i can't seem to find my place in this world. i'm always the left out 1. not surprising. has always been for yrs, been lonely is kinda nice.

my weak point is probably the fear of getting into complicated stuff, i'm too laid back. always finding a peaceful solution to everything is not gonna work. somehow i think that things are getting out of hand because ppl want it to. not a good thought.

i'm getting very troubled at this point of time. need somewhere to straighten out my thoughts. that's not really easy. i suddenly rmb back in the pri sch days, our teachers always made us write a journal. i dread writing such stuff. but surprisingly here i am, isn't that wad blogs was initially? an online journal system. nowadays it has become something like a advertisement of sorts. advertisement for ur thoughts.

i can't possibly to not care abt it? juz shout fuck care and walk off? i admit i felt like doing it. from my point of view. i feel that ppl are more mature den u think. they also dun do stupid things. things that my destroy others. it's juz tat odd one in the crowd that does all this. i fucking hate this man.

okay sorta lost control there.

sometimes the best solution is none. thinking abt it always makes it worse. damn. life is such a complicated thing.

for a pessimist, i'm fucking pessimistic.

i consider all the worse possible scenarios before thinking ahead. this qns muz be one of the most used. WHY ME!?!?!?

retaining suddenly seem like a much less stressful option now. even ns feels less stressed.

FUCKING CHAO CHEE BYE!! DUN CARE LA! U GUYS CAN GO DO ALL U WAN!! I FUCKING DUN CARE! KA NI NA! CHEE BYE LE! EVERYTIME ALSO THIS KIND OF SHIT! TREATING ME LIKE SOME IDIOT WHO DOES ALL THIS CRAP! MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD THINK WHY I DUN FUCKING LIKE TO CARE ABT SUCH STUFF! ONE FUCKING THING THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF IS WATCHING PPL EMO! WTF U DO THAT FOR?!?! ATTENTION? NO MOOD TO TALK?!?! JUZ SAY LA! PPL WILL KNOW WHEN TO BACK OFF RITE?!?!

haiz. had to let all that out somewhere. if anyone happen to read this. and u would like to think abt it. FUCKING DON'T! sometimes it's best to let ppl be.

i dunno wad i'm talking abt at this point of time.

nth seems to be goin right at the moment. i need some stability in my life. that constant value that'll see me through this semester. this sem is fucking screwed up. DAMN FUCKING SCREWED! juz when i thought i could make it through w/o too much worry. some fucktard has to come and do stunt. and now i have to get dragged into it. i'll be terribly honest now. i fucking detest the class. in general the way everyone thinks. i like my classmates, but juz feel that somehow everyone happens to be at the wrong place wrong time. my decisions are mine alone to regret. no one and I MEAN NO FUCKING ONE BUT ME is allowed to judge it.

another thing. judging others by ur own scale is one of the most idiotic thing anyone can do. nv pass judgement onto others unless ur ready to be judge. not by yourself but by others. "thou shalt not pass judgement unto others".

i dunno whether this post will exist for long. doubt it.

shitty week.

Pretty

Update for the sick of updating. reading other people's blog always gets me thinking. are people truly the way they are in front of you?

probably not.

no one's ever 100% true to your face.

life goes on. social life sucks.

=)