Ugly

once again. i'm a disappointment to others. how long is it gonna last? my whole life? i hope not, being a disappointment is not nice. i hate it man.

dieeee. emo again? nope i dun emo. i think abt stuff. probably will be a quiet day tmr. very quiet i hope. things got outta hand. which could have easily been prevented. i guess we'll nv be the same again. somehow i can't seem to find my place in this world. i'm always the left out 1. not surprising. has always been for yrs, been lonely is kinda nice.

my weak point is probably the fear of getting into complicated stuff, i'm too laid back. always finding a peaceful solution to everything is not gonna work. somehow i think that things are getting out of hand because ppl want it to. not a good thought.

i'm getting very troubled at this point of time. need somewhere to straighten out my thoughts. that's not really easy. i suddenly rmb back in the pri sch days, our teachers always made us write a journal. i dread writing such stuff. but surprisingly here i am, isn't that wad blogs was initially? an online journal system. nowadays it has become something like a advertisement of sorts. advertisement for ur thoughts.

i can't possibly to not care abt it? juz shout fuck care and walk off? i admit i felt like doing it. from my point of view. i feel that ppl are more mature den u think. they also dun do stupid things. things that my destroy others. it's juz tat odd one in the crowd that does all this. i fucking hate this man.

okay sorta lost control there.

sometimes the best solution is none. thinking abt it always makes it worse. damn. life is such a complicated thing.

for a pessimist, i'm fucking pessimistic.

i consider all the worse possible scenarios before thinking ahead. this qns muz be one of the most used. WHY ME!?!?!?

retaining suddenly seem like a much less stressful option now. even ns feels less stressed.

FUCKING CHAO CHEE BYE!! DUN CARE LA! U GUYS CAN GO DO ALL U WAN!! I FUCKING DUN CARE! KA NI NA! CHEE BYE LE! EVERYTIME ALSO THIS KIND OF SHIT! TREATING ME LIKE SOME IDIOT WHO DOES ALL THIS CRAP! MAYBE YOU GUYS SHOULD THINK WHY I DUN FUCKING LIKE TO CARE ABT SUCH STUFF! ONE FUCKING THING THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF IS WATCHING PPL EMO! WTF U DO THAT FOR?!?! ATTENTION? NO MOOD TO TALK?!?! JUZ SAY LA! PPL WILL KNOW WHEN TO BACK OFF RITE?!?!

haiz. had to let all that out somewhere. if anyone happen to read this. and u would like to think abt it. FUCKING DON'T! sometimes it's best to let ppl be.

i dunno wad i'm talking abt at this point of time.

nth seems to be goin right at the moment. i need some stability in my life. that constant value that'll see me through this semester. this sem is fucking screwed up. DAMN FUCKING SCREWED! juz when i thought i could make it through w/o too much worry. some fucktard has to come and do stunt. and now i have to get dragged into it. i'll be terribly honest now. i fucking detest the class. in general the way everyone thinks. i like my classmates, but juz feel that somehow everyone happens to be at the wrong place wrong time. my decisions are mine alone to regret. no one and I MEAN NO FUCKING ONE BUT ME is allowed to judge it.

another thing. judging others by ur own scale is one of the most idiotic thing anyone can do. nv pass judgement onto others unless ur ready to be judge. not by yourself but by others. "thou shalt not pass judgement unto others".

i dunno whether this post will exist for long. doubt it.

shitty week.